Thursday, February 4, 2010

APEX logo: should I resurrect it?

My office, the upstairs of the "Garden House"

With windows on three sides, this 100ft2 space is just perfect for me, sunny and toasty warm with the wood stove downstairs and the stovepipe beside me. This is the first time in my almost 30 years of being self-employed, working from my home, that I had a separate building to go to. It makes a huge difference! We are off the grid, so I don't waste power; instead of having my computer on all the time like I used to, it gets shut down unless I am on it. So I spend a lot less time on it. Amazing life still goes on when I don't read email 20 times daily. But now, not only I have to power up the machine, I have to put on my snow boots and walk 100ft. to my healing centre across the garden. So for the first time, I have have a sense of "going to work" or "going home from work". When I lived in the mansion of Mysthaven the distance down the hall from my kitchen to my office was not much less than the distance now to my garden house, but it was way too easy to saunter down the hall and sit at my desk. Now I am more intentional about work vs. play time. I love it!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

NEW: year, home, business, love, LIFE!

For the past 10 years I have put all my energies into promoting and attracting people for retreats at the beautiful place I created there. I have now left my marriage and the place, and Mysthaven will no longer operate as a retreat centre. So now there is this wonderful void – a space to create anew! I have moved to a beautiful solar powered property in Caledon, and will soon have a web site to promote retreats at Serendipity Farm. However, part of taking back my power is to put My Self out there rather than just the wonderful space I create.

The Law of Attraction is busy at work in my life. I got really clear this past summer about what I need and want in a marriage, and realized that my husband’s values and priorities had grown too far apart from mine. The direction his business and life has taken was increasingly far away from my own. Much as I tried to accept it, I did not feel properly loved by sharing my husband with other women. I felt unhappy and disempowered, but did not know what to do because as a recovering Catholic I have always felt that leaving a marriage is being a quitter. A friend loaned me an Abraham-Hicks tape and book and somehow, (although I have been familiar with this work for decades; have even taught simlar content) I Got It at a deeper level. I started to be more consistent about putting my attention towards what I want vs. stewing about what made me feel frustrated, unfulfilled and insecure. I started to pray for the level of deep intimacy and love, the self-exposure, trusting and being trusted, that I had hoped for and never achieved in my marriage. Days later the same friends took me to meet their old friend and see the magical place he has created “Off the Grid” in Caledon (NW of GTA).

The first thing I noticed as we drove up was that he had used the same colours for his buildings as I chose for Mysthaven, the retreat I co-created (I did all the colours) and ran for 10 years. Khaki green house, purple trim, marigold throughout the house … it was eerie! So right away I knew that Peer has excellent taste :)

Everyone who knows me, knows how attached I was to Mysthaven, how much of my life force I put there, how it was the manifestation of a vision I have held since I was 20: A retreat in the country close to the city, for people wanting to transform their lives to come and be inspired. Yet, when I really told myself the truth about what is most important to me, it was very easy to decide to leave. Love wins over stuff. Because I had been visioning and connecting with my deepest values and priorities in love, it was easy to recognize in Peer the qualities I most want and need in my Life Partner.

So, I have moved to Serendipity Farm where Peer has already created a place of magic, and where there is so much room for me to add my magic, so that together we will attract a community of people to work and play with.